Using alcohol to escape life was never something Kay set out to do. As a child, alcohol symbolized connection and love, a sweet sip of cherry lemonade shared with her parents after a long day. But as life grew more complicated, alcohol transformed from something special into something dangerous—a crutch, an escape, and a growing trap. This is Kay’s story of recognizing how deeply using alcohol to escape life had rooted itself into her world, and how she found her way back to hope with This Naked Mind.

A Childhood Memory That Sparked It All

Some of my earliest and happiest memories are tied to alcohol. I remember my parents pouring cherry and lemonade into beautiful crystal glasses. Watching them laugh, connect, and unwind felt magical to me. I begged them for a taste for years, and when I finally got one—a tiny splash of cherry with mostly lemonade—it tasted amazing. More than that, it made me feel included, important, part of their world.

But that early magic didn’t last. As a teenager, alcohol became about sneaking off to the beach with boys, drinking the cheapest wine we could find. It was about feeling cool, about fitting in. And over the years, it shifted from fun to something else entirely: using alcohol to escape life.

When Drinking Became My Escape

By the time I got married at 17, alcohol wasn’t a huge part of my life—yet. I was involved in the church for 20 years, and during that time, I didn’t drink. But when I started again, it escalated fast. At first, it was a bottle a night. It “helped” with intimacy, helped with guilt, helped me numb the difficult feelings I didn’t know how to face.

When I left my marriage and was separated from my babies, drinking became a way to “handle” the pain. I told myself I could stop anytime. I just didn’t want to. Using alcohol to escape life became my default, my “normal,” even as a voice inside me screamed that something wasn’t right.

Losing Control

For years, I drifted through relationships, drinking more and more. About ten years ago, I met my current partner. We were both drinking when we got together, both trying to survive the wreckage of previous relationships. But he saw my drinking spiral before I did. He expressed his concern gently, never forcefully, but enough that I knew he was right.

I cried a lot back then. I knew alcohol had taken over, but I felt powerless. If he had ever said, “it’s me or the alcohol,” I honestly don’t know what I would have chosen. I had blackouts. Memory loss. I would forget entire conversations. I scared myself—and yet I still picked up the bottle. That’s the brutal truth about using alcohol to escape life: even when you know it’s hurting you, stopping feels impossible.

Trying to Stop on My Own

I tried to quit with willpower alone. It lasted three weeks. Then I was back to drinking two bottles a night, sometimes reaching for a third.

The Day Everything Started to Change

For months, I kept seeing This Naked Mind pop up on Facebook. I ignored it. Then one day, I actually listened. And something inside me shifted. It sounded genuine. It felt real. I signed up for a virtual event, thinking maybe—just maybe—it could help.

The event was amazing. For the first time, I had a glimmer of hope that I wasn’t broken—that maybe there was a way out. I joined The PATH. It was overwhelming at first, trying to navigate all the resources. But the coaching, the community, the content—all of it mattered. Even when I didn’t fully understand it yet, it was planting seeds.

Ready to Find Freedom?

If you know the pain of using alcohol to escape life, you don’t have to stay stuck. The PATH showed me a way out—and it can for you too.

👉 Join The PATH Today

Life Without Alcohol

I haven’t had a drink since March 14, 2024. I also quit smoking after six months. I’m eating better, moving more, dreaming bigger. I have energy now. I do things. And the best part – I have goals. I’m not stuck on the couch with a bottle and a head full of regrets.

My partner is proud of me. My kids are proud of me. Best of all—I’m proud of me. And I can enjoy my grandchildren with clear eyes and a full heart.

What I’d Tell My Old Self

If I could talk to the version of me who thought using alcohol to escape life was the only option, I would say: You are loved. You are not broken. You are not alone. Let’s walk through this together—with compassion, not shame. Let’s go conquer some shit.

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