Have you ever found yourself saying “I can’t limit my drinking” while staring at an empty wine glass, knowing you promised yourself you’d stop at one? Tammy knows this feeling intimately. After 30 years of what seemed like normal wine consumption that slowly escalated into nightly binges, this mother of three found herself trapped in a cycle she couldn’t break—until she discovered a path to complete freedom that transformed not just her relationship with alcohol, but her entire life.

The Seeds of a Drinking Pattern

Growing up, I didn’t think alcohol impacted me at all. Looking back now, I realize that “normal” drinking was simply what I saw modeled in my household. There weren’t any obvious negative consequences that I could see—drinking just looked fun. It seemed like a natural part of adult life, something to look forward to and enjoy.

As I became more aware of alcohol in my life, I absolutely loved it! I chose to ignore the times my binges hurt me or could have seriously injured or killed me or someone else. But I think I’ve carried the shame of those episodes my whole life, even when I was actively drinking and trying to push those memories away.

My wine drinking slowly escalated over 30 years while my husband and I raised our three daughters. Everything seemed manageable, even normal, until life threw me a curveball that changed everything.

When Everything Fell Apart

Everything ramped up after I discovered my husband’s affair in 2013, just before our 25th wedding anniversary. The betrayal was devastating. I asked him to move out, and suddenly I was left alone to parent our three girls—then 15, 17, and 20 years old.

That’s when I found myself sitting home every night, drinking too much wine. I was never openly drunk. Thankfully, I never drove under the influence or got a DUI. I maintained my role as the high-functioning mom I’d always been, just a little sloppier in the evenings when no one was home to witness it.

After two years of this pattern, I managed to cut way back and started running again, getting back in shape. My drinking calmed down, and I reconnected with an old friend and neighbor who was also going through a divorce. This lovely man had three sons and was six years sober. We got together, and I continued to cut way back on my drinking.

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The Pandemic Breaking Point

Then came the pandemic, and everything changed again. Our whole Brady Bunch family came home to live with us at different times in 2020 and 2021. We had five twenty-somethings, one teenager, and two dogs all under one roof! It was chaotic but initially fun, with day drinking and pool parties becoming the norm.

After nine months of this lifestyle, I started waking up exhausted and hungover every single day. It was brutal, and I couldn’t seem to moderate anymore. This really scared me because I knew I needed to do something, but I felt completely powerless.

Toward the end, I was determined to cut back on my pinot grigio, but every single night I couldn’t stop after one glass. It was impossible. The thought “I can’t limit my drinking” became a constant refrain in my mind. I started considering three glasses a good—even normal!—evening. Looking back, I can see how distorted my thinking had become.

Finding the Key to Freedom

I found Annie Grace’s podcast and heard about her book in my early days of trying to quit by listening to another podcast called Recovery Happy Hour. When I listened to her book, it changed everything for me. I listened twice all the way through while running, walking, driving, cleaning, and cooking.

Annie’s book transformed my understanding completely! I can’t go back and unlearn what she showed me. I have been empowered by her approach in ways I never thought possible. The scientific approach to understanding alcohol’s effects on the brain helped me realize that my struggle with “I can’t limit my drinking” wasn’t a personal failing—it was a predictable biological response.

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Life in Full Color

Now I am excited about everything! I love waking before the sun, meditating, and writing. I always thought I wasn’t a morning person, but I was completely wrong about that too.

I’m taking writing classes and joined a Writing Your Recovery group with women from around the world. I’m traveling to women’s conferences and participating actively in our six children’s lives as they all start getting married. I can’t wait to be a sober and present grandmother someday!

I’m researching my family genealogy and planning on writing a second book about my early California ancestors who arrived in San Diego when it belonged to Spain in 1769. The creative energy that flows through me now is something I never experienced when I was drinking.

The Ripple Effects of Change

I think my quitting has given our six children a lot to think about. (Did I mention my new man and I got married? We did!) Two of our three daughters have significantly cut back on their drinking, and the youngest girl, at 26, just passed 14 months alcohol-free! The three boys have cut back too, showing me that our choices as parents echo through generations.

I thought my old life was pretty great because I had a loving husband, six great kids, a nice house, and all the material things. But this new life without alcohol made me realize I was missing one big thing: me! Now I have her back, and it’s a whole new beautiful world.

A Message to My Former Self

If I could tell my old self one thing, it would be this: You are enough. You are loved and wanted just as you are. Believe me – you don’t need alcohol to be more interesting, more fun, or more worthy of love. You don’t need to carry the shame of thinking “I can’t limit my drinking”—because the truth is, you’re not supposed to be able to limit a substance that’s designed to be addictive.

The woman you’re meant to be is already inside you, waiting to emerge. She’s creative, energetic, present, and powerful. She wakes up before dawn excited about the day ahead. She writes, travels, loves deeply, and shows up fully for the people who matter most.

That woman is you—and she’s been there all along, just waiting for you to choose her over the bottle.

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Did you go from”I can’t limit my drinking” to “I’m free!” through our books, the app, the podcasts, or another program at This Naked Mind? We want you to share your story here and inspire others on their journey!

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